She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
organizing the empties. That sober.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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