He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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