what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
