It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
