Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
tell me about the fingering
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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