You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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