just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
