PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
