Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
