He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
