they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
