Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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