Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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