Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
