I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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