I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
