my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
