She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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