Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
