That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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