she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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