I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
