I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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