When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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