But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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