he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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