It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
