Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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