I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
