dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
