Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
