I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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