Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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