so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This baby is an asshole
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
