So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
