haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
