i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize