she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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