You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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