They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
