Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need to sanitize my soul.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I love you.
Bad choice
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
