If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
