I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
