Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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