halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
