we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
