white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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