Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
