Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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