I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
