you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
